Why did no one tell me about the "Post baby-bump Blues"?!
I | L O V E D | Being Pregnant
Well...Up until the last month or so, because I was a whale. Other than needing heathers help to roll me out of the bed to pee in the middle of the night, It was the most incredible connection I've ever had with my body. Being healthy, vegan and in the best shape of my life, I carried my beautiful 8lb 4oz 20 inch baby girl full term, 40 weeks to the day. Even though she's here, and heather/I impatiently awaited her arrival, I have to admit... now that i've recovered from my cesarean, 100% I miss everything about the being pregnant and have #babybumpblues
This is a stage of my life that has always been a personal goal of mine. To be a stay at home mom, spending every day with my little one(s), hopefully even better version(s) of myself. Of course I didn't know as a young child I wouldn't know the birth father but hey GO SCIENCE! The most unexpected surprise was the emotional connection to my belly. It sounds silly, but I never felt alone anymore. The connection Freya and I had even before she was born is what made me finally understand the true meaning behind the word "mother".
Watching my body change...
was simply amazing. From the moment we got the phone call telling us the insemination was a success, and my blood work/HCG levels showed a positive pregnancy test, I was all in. From that day on I did anything and everything for my unborn Freya, because I was terrified of doing something wrong to jeopardize her health or mine in any way. Aside from that, I was and still am so proud of my body, how it adapted to this change so flawlessly and never failed me once. My pregnancy was so easy too ( i know some of you will hate me for that lol) , no gestational diabetes, no preeclampsia, nothing. Just baby growing. It made me feel beautiful, strong and.. well honestly the most confident I've ever been in my life. It was a really nice break from the self loathing body dysmorphia I was used to. In the mirror I was a goddess, a mother, the highest priestess aside from mother earth herself. This feeling I truly believe is the primal and emotional reasoning behind why we "want more babies." There is NO greater feeling than carrying a child. Don't get me wrong, girl it's fucking hard, so scary and you make sacrifices but it's undeniably worth it.
January 25th, 2018 2 Weeks Pregnant
June 26th, 2019 20 Weeks Pregnant
September 5th, 2019 35 Weeks Pregnant
Grow Belly Grow...
Every day looking at my body, I felt like Superwoman, the best version of myself to date. Also, learning new things about my little babe constantly was both comforting and heartwarming. I knew what foods to eat to make her move, how long her hiccups would last, what time she would wake up and start kicking around, even what songs she liked to hear me sing. These matched her behaviors postpartum ( SO COOL),
I couldn't believe she would do these outside the bell. For example, right after she was born, when she was done nursing, Freya would wiggle her way down to my stomach when she would sleep, somehow in the same position as she in utero. Her comfy spot. It was little things that Freya did, that she didn't even know she was helping me heal during this transitional time. Physically holding her surpasses any other feeling, but there's a strange sense of security when they're in your belly. You know where they are at all times lol, aside from the obvious fears, I couldn't help but feel I could protect her from the world. Now the mindset switched and it's HOW do I protect her from what I have the power to.
PostPartum Blues...
is a real thing new mama, so get ready. Or veteran mommy, you know the feeling. You once had this beautiful physical, mental and emotional connection to your unborn baby and now said baby got the ef out and they're here! You want them out towards the end because you can't imagine your belly or baby getting even bigger, yet the second they're out you're like.. hey noooo come back. Every mom I believe would agree that it is definitely a time of transition from the second you're in the recovery room, coherent enough when you glance at your stomach for the first time post delivery. I miss being pregnant SO much. There were nights I would sit and just talk to my belly, read to it, sing to it, I gave Frey a play-by-play pretty much throughout the day. As soon as I'm fully healed heather and I want more children, 2 more to be exact. It's never right to use a child as an emotional crutch but I CAN'T WAIT to be pregnant again to feel as alive as I did with Freya.
PostPartum Care...
is SO important ladies. One priority during your organization of your the first couple weeks after you bring the baby home from the hospital, is to be in contact with mental health professionals during the replenishing period. Not only is taking a postnatal vitamin important, but talking to a postpartum doula, therapist, or other motherhood professional to stay connected with how you're feeling, is honestly more of what we need. Nursing can be complicated as well, so reaching out to other mamas, along with the help of your doula can aid in keeping your spirits up to fight the hormonal changes you'll go through. To fight that voice that tells you, you're not doing enough, you're not good enough, etc. Because that voice is just fear. We combat that fear by supporting one another and creating/finding resources for stressed out, tired, unsure new mamas. Create a network of support, heal fully emotionally and physically and most of all enjoy your baby. They will only be so little for so long, so soak up | e v e r y | second.
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